Yeah Write #122: Vis-à-vis With a Time Traveler ( #amwriting #microstory )
Ethan shifted; a sofa spring twanged. “Say again!?”
Alice sipped coffee. “Marbles in deep grooves stay stuck–”
“–without a catastrophic catalyst.”
“Right,” she said. “No groove…easy to make them fall.”
“Like altering a timeline via people?”
“Theoretically.”
“Last time, water was your example.”
9 comments on “Yeah Write #122: Vis-à-vis With a Time Traveler ( #amwriting #microstory )”
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Aspiring writer, wife, mother of two, owner two cats. Teacher, lover of science, books, science fiction, fantasy, and video games.
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I think this is a really interesting dialogue and an inventive take on the prompt, but I feel like I’m missing something to fully understand the scene.
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Time travel ideas are convoluted. I ran out of time to really hone in on the moment.
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I understand from your title that one of the characters, probably Alice, is a time traveler. But I agree with prettyflyforawhitemom that there is some plot component missing for us to fully understand the scene. I like how the last line calls into the past and perhaps bespeaks the confusion of explaining time travel?
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Ethan is the time traveler and he has just realized that Alice is a “free agent”…a random element not stuck in a time groove (ie Whenever they meet she does something a little differen of her own accord). It’s a big idea and I just an out of time to whittle it down.
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Sounds like you’ve got the starts for a longer story maybe even a novel! I’d read it!
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I like the timey-wimeyness of this piece, but I wanted a little more detail. I had some trouble figuring out the different theories they were discussing.
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I ran out of time to smooth the edges. It was supposed to be an “aha” moment.
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Oh! I see that now you’ve said it. Honestly, micro is the form I find the most difficult. Formulating a complete story in so few words that’s imbued with emotion and interest? My perpetual Everest.
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Oh! I so wanted to know more. I liked that this left me with questions.
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