Laissez Faire

Letting Life Lead

Yeah Write #127: A Mutual Pleasure (#amwriting #flashfiction )

Spring had arrived frigid and soggy. The descending path from the fair grounds to the porta-potties had turned into a mudslick floating on thick ice. Perched at a strategic vantage point, Rae stretched her sore back and rubbed the growing thigh bruise beneath her jeans. She’d gone back to the concert to fetch spiked cider and hot fried dough and returned to watch a far more entertaining show. Her sister, Sherry, and friends would call when they sobered up and were looking for their car keys.

She didn’t have to wait long. Drunken bodies swayed into view and each one in turn did a slip-slide-tumble down the slope. Arms flailed, mud clung, and curses flew. Rae recovered her breath during lulls of activity.  A man with a lip piercing and too many colors in his hair stared at her smile and she saluted him.  His expression changed from one of wondering what she’d been smoking to one of shock as his foot planted and took off without him. His horizontal body hovered a moment before slamming hard and twisting from back to front as he tried to prevent the inevitable.

Rae snorted, almost choking on a bit of dough. The man righted himself, limped to do his business, and reappeared a few minutes later. He sat beside Rae and picked mud from his ear.

“Hi,” he said.

“You were,” she quipped.

“The street I grew up on had this massive hill. My friends and I would park our chairs at the bottom and watch crappy little cars try to drive up after a snow storm. When they got stuck and couldn’t turn around, we’d help push them back down — for a fee.” He smirked and wiped his face on his sleeve. “Better than shoveling driveways.  Except for Mr. Kinney’s place. He was a baker. Fastest shoveling we ever did.”

Rae handed him one of the beer cups balanced on a rotted log. “No money, but at least those overpriced tickets will be worth it.” She pointed. “It’s best when a group comes. Everyone thinks they can make it. Except this one Harley woman. She just plunked on her ass and scootched down.”

“Javier,” he said and put his chin on his hand. “I think I’m in love.”

“Not going to ask about my boyfriend first, Javier?”

He shrugged. “If he’s not here with you enjoying this bounty of fun, then you’ll probably let him go. He wouldn’t understand.”

“Full of yourself are you?”

“Full of shit and too much Goldschläger.”

“The hell? Don’t puke on me!”

“Why not? It’d be a win-win for both of us.”

Rae watched another unfortunate soul, took a long swig, and pushed his Javier’s face to aim the other direction. “Rae. If you can remember that I’ll consider a sober conversation with you.”

Javier vogued while singing the words to Madonna’s Rae of Light. “Word association. It works.”

Rae shushed. “High heel posse coming.”

***

Sheets of rain had passed through in a hot summer squall, leaving deep puddles.  The sky was blue and the humidity rose to snorkel levels. The beat-down work truck’s air conditioner only spewed hot air.

“Enough Death Proof. Pull your feet in, Sherry.”

Her sister often enjoyed laying on the seat in the rear and sticking her legs out the window. Sherry complained and didn’t move until Rae began raising the windows. Sweat immediately soaked Rae’s already damp shirt.

“Bitch, what the hell? It’s hot as f–” Sherry sat up and was dropped back when Rae’s foot hit the accelerator.

Rae yanked the wheel, swerved, and hit a deep puddle that sent a Hoover dam-sized wall of water over a group of young men tromping up the sidewalk. They were dressed nice, probably headed out somewhere that required more than flannel and saggy pants. She knew some of them, most were pea-brained jerks.

A blue-haired man in a utility kilt, who’d been walking in the opposite direction, had exchanged some words, looked over his shoulder, then abruptly leapt over the wall and taken shelter behind a tree.

“You’re so mean.” Sherry leaned over to open the windows again and changed the radio station.

“They deserved it.” Rae widened her eyes and glanced out her rear view at a figure running towards them. “I think I know that guy. Javier. I told you about him.

Rae slowed down.

He caught up and hung onto the passenger window. “Marry me?”

“Get in weirdo.”

 


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9 comments on “Yeah Write #127: A Mutual Pleasure (#amwriting #flashfiction )

  1. Heidi Lobecker
    July 10, 2019

    I like Rae’s Independence and sass, the action of the story is good and well described. Consider the verb tense in the first 2 sentences: remove the “had” for a more active voice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. MM Schreier
    July 11, 2019

    I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve read you. 😦

    Rae is definitely sassy and the prompts felt really natural. My only hang up was I wasn’t sure where the beers came from. You had mentioned earlier that she was drinking cider, so the beer cups took me by surprise.

    I think Rae and Javier are going to have some great adventures together! A sign that you really brought the characters to life that I can imagine them outside the confines of the story. Nice work!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laissez Faire
      July 12, 2019

      Yeah, I haven’t been writing as much as I had been. At least not typing…my head is clogged though. 🙂

      About the beer. Er..It was beer…then I changed it to cider…then back to beer again. You caught me with my writer pants down.

      Glad the characters popped off the page though despite beer thing 😛

      Like

  3. innatejames
    July 11, 2019

    Strong characters, and an interesting meet-cute. Maybe needs a little more connective tissue. Consider some sort of segue at the beginning of Javier’s speech that indicates that they don’t know each other. The way he just launches into a speech about Mr. Kinney’s place made me think they did and pretending they didn’t. It’s clear to me know that he was nervous and trying to be smooth. Laughed that they were enjoying watching others fall down a hill. Laughed louder at the high heel brigade.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laissez Faire
      July 12, 2019

      Thanks Nate. I did want him to just start drunken-i-like-this-chick-babbling. I ran out of words and time to really smooth the segue before his mush mouthing. Lol.
      I admit I was smiling when I imagined sequins and shoes flinging everywhere. 😀

      Like

  4. Kim Witbeck
    July 11, 2019

    I really liked what a lighthearted, fun story it was! The schadenfreude was apparent right away. Was her sore back and bruised thigh because of falling down the mudslide, too? I wasn’t totally sure, so I was distracted by wondering what happened to her. I pieced together that she had fallen, but was distracted for a second making the connection. When Javier comes in, I would have liked more about their connection/chemistry. I assumed because he was just “a man” going to the port-a-potty that this was another random person falling down; so to me it felt a little weird that the man then came up to her. Probably just me! Good job and thanks for sharing!

    Like

    • Laissez Faire
      July 12, 2019

      Yeah, she fell down. He was just another random dude 🙂 She salutes him when he looks at her wondering what the hell she’s doing there. Then he falls, she laughs, and he “gets” it. She’s a kindred spirit so he, emboldened by booze, just goes over to chit chat and watch people fall down too. Their young, free minded people at an open air concert, and on the same wave length 🙂
      Glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Anonymous
    July 12, 2019

    Fun story. I liked the characters a lot. I cracked up at the phrase “the humidity rose to snorkel levels.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laissez Faire
      July 12, 2019

      The humidity was so bad here yesterday, it spilled over into the story. LOL. I often say, “it’s so muggy you need a snorkel” LOL

      Like

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