Letting Life Lead
Here we are again with my annual reflection on the wonder that is you First Born. What a year! This winter you took up skiing with your dad and not twenty minutes later you wanted to go faster before you even completely mastered standing up! You found that your heavier statue made you sled faster, but made it much harder for dad to pull you on it.
You learned how to climb across the monkey ladder hand over hand, learned to swim in just three months, conquered your fear of the diving board, started kindergarten, had your first dance recital, discovered the wonders of gymnastics at a gym birthday party, freaked out over minnows (then went looking for them when they vanished), played tennis with Grandma, fought daily with your brother…
I am exhausted! You, on the other hand, don’t seem the least bit drained of any energy. There is no toddler left in you and I struggle to see my Baby Girl in your face, but there are those occasional meltdowns where I am reminded just how little you still are and how much you still need us. I remember that day at your swim lesson when you really, really wanted to jump off that diving chair but were too scared. So conflicted within yourself that you didn’t know what to do. We had to pull you away because the lesson was over and others were waiting. It all came exploding out in an epic tantrum thirty minute visible from a space station. Wow. Dad was there and he took your brother to his lesson, and I took you out of the facility where you took you your frustrations on some dandelions after I reprimanded you for spitting and trying to kick me. Some might I have thought I should have punished you harshly, but the didn’t see what I saw. A not-quite-six year old really made at herself because she couldn’t do the thing she wanted to do so baddly. You didn’t know how to deal with that internal conflict and it exploded. I honestly don’t think you remembered the incident a little as an hour after it happened! We talked about it and what you could do instead of smashing dandelions and spitting. I remember it and I also remember the look of pride on your face when you did finally make the jump a week later.
I love how your socks never match. How your hair just can’t be tamed. The song lyrics you mis-speak. The off-key tunes you make up. The way you stick out your tongue trying to take a goofy picture. How you still make friends everywhere you go even if it is for one afternoon (regardless of their age). How did you manage to charm that eleven year old girl into playing with you in the pool and carrying you around on her back in the water all afternoon! Social butterfly doesn’t seem to cover it. Social magician? This is why I wasn’t worried about you adapting to school, I was worried about me not adapting to you going to school. Funny I am sure until you have your own spawn and call me on the phone conflicted about how you feel about kindergarten!
You’ve started Kindergarten this year and have been really excited. You didn’t even bother to tell your parents goodbye at orientation and you were so itching to get into the school on the first day when I dropped you off. You’ve already started asking when you can take the bus. Okay, first grade. You have to give your Mommy a chance to get used to this!
Your baby brother is so mad that you are going to school without him. He packed up his Pokemom lunchbox that matched yours and tried to get into the lunchroom with you. Oh! You made sure you were first in there. You introduced yourself to Ms. McCarthy and hardly waved goodbye. That’s okay, I was all teary eyed.
When you came home your were so excited! You told me about the “jobs” that everyone got assigned and the job wall. You made your own right away and wrote everyone’s name down (we’d been practicing writing names so you did that all by yourself). You taped up a job wall that you made with a plastic bag, paper, and cardboard. You used stickers to hold up the pesky parts when you ran out of tape. You insisted that everyone in the house have a job that rotated. Sounded great to me!
I thought you would be tired after all that learning, but you were full of the same energy and got right into the fight with your brother. You go half-day and were a little disappointed you had to come home at 11:45.
Let’s enjoy this time while we can because next year… Mommy doesn’t want to think about that.
Instead, let’s talk about how much fun you have at tennis, and Dance Class. Grandma loves taking you to tennis and dance. That was your birthday present. Soccer season is almost done, and we couldn’t get you in for the fall season, but we promise we will get you into the Spring. I know you will love it.
I love your snuggles and your kisses. You give really strong hugs because you built up those muscles from swimming this summer. Wow! How much you learned. You were so scared at first to jump of that diving board but now I can’t get you off the thing. I really need to have an extra pair of eyes while I which you and your brother on opposite ends of the pool. You officially swim a 100% better than Mommy does. Daddy is excited. He’s the dolphin of the family. And since you are growing so tall he’s extra excited that you will be able to be his rollercoaster partner.
Keep doing what you do honey. Keep showing off with your math skills. You have the foundation for reading and so I know it will come quickly. Those Heidi Songs you sing really have stuck in your head. When I ask you what your favorite subject is you say “All of them!” Art, music, recess, reading, and math.
That’s my girl!
Keep reaching, keep that wonderful social personality. Stand up for yourself. Try and fail and try again. Have no regrets in doing and being. What will the next year bring for you? I hope it is everything you want and everything memorable.
I’ve done my best to teach you things every day based upon your interests, your affinities, and what we happen to be doing. I hope you don’t remember all the times I refused your help with something because I had just reached my limit of do-overs (hopefully the good days far outweigh the momtrum days)! You have a real knack for numbers and you inspired me to learn the abacus so that I could teach you. We ride in the car and you play the abacus app and tell me 9 + 8 is seventeen (mental math style with no fingers) and subtract two and tell me fifteen is the answer. Do you have any idea how incredible that is for a just-turned six year old!? You see numbers the way I saw letters when I was little. You were doing addition and subtraction at four and I was reading. We all have our hidden talents. Daddy has crazy spacial vision that makes him really good at engineering problems. Take it and run with it! Just don’t neglect the things that don’t come so easy to you. There is great value is working hard to reach a goal, or to learn something by keeping at it until it has been mastered over time — even if it takes years. Hold on to your enthusiasm and internal desires to learn things.
I asked you what your favorite thing about your birthday party was and you said it was the Olaf Pinata and your friends. I admired you so much for helping with the decorations, taking initiative at being a hostess, and for looking so proud that you were big enough to blow up balloons! I think I am happy that you will remember those things and not the neglected laundry, dust bunnies, or dishes in the sink. Memories of having lived life are far more important that the chores we didn’t get to! That said, please, no more rolled up socks and clothes thrown all over the house! Even I have my mess limits.
Happy Birthday First Born First Daughter Big Sister Wonderful You! May you live all the days of your life with the eyes and wonder of a six year old!
Vulnerable on main
My personal stories and musings
Find BIG inspiration in the little moments
Poetry that purrs. It's reowr because the cat said so.
The Literary (or Junk) Writings of Leslie Muzingo
Poetry, History, Mythology
Confessions of a White Trash Hoe