Laissez Faire

Letting Life Lead

Yeah Write #5: The Whole Megillah – Fiction #242


“Hey, kid, now don’t fret.  No one will miss ‘em.   I can’t stand to see a little miss cry.  You did good.  Can you help out an old man?  I’m not looking to hurt you.   How about I tell you a story and you decide if you should untie me, alright?     I had a sweet daughter about your age — just fourteen.     She got tangled up with Dan’s boy.  That’s Dan there.  Mean bastard — his wife might just die from relief.   His boy there’s his spittin’ image.   He ruined my girl — took advantage of her nature.   Around here a girl’s reputation is bait; folks get nasty when it’s on the hook.  They put all their own wrongs in it and pretend their asses don’t shit.

“I said some things.   Things you ought not say to your daughter, but I did dammit and I’ll regret it till my dying breath.  I hope that ain’t today, kid.  I was just mad, you see?  But, we made amends my girl and I.   I couldn’t take back what I said; I sure tried.   I didn’t know Dan’s boy was following her, harassing, and sending filthy notes.  I just found her hanging from the workshop rafters one morning.   Women, you know, are polite not wanting to leave a mess.  A man, though, will just blow his brains out all over the casserole at Sunday dinner.     You’d think I’d have been mad crazy seeing that, but I cut her down calm and quick .   Hurt just the same.  No sense in upsetting my missus more.   Can’t undo the dead.

“Yes, you sit right there.  I do tell a long one don’t I?    I’ll get to it; we just got to go round the barn first.    We buried her out by this big hickory tree near the edge of our property.   I tend the grave, but my wife she don’t leave the house.  Not since the day we put our baby in the ground.  Sometimes I talk to the birds because it’s crazy to talk to the dead.    One day, I catch Dan’s boy and his friends using my girl’s tree as their personal piss pot!    She’s dead cold and can’t hurt nobody.   What kind of person does that?   I roughed them up — handed them their asses — but I let them keep breathin’.

“You know what war is, kid?   I’ve killed men I had no quarrel with; I’m no stranger to bloodshed.  Saw a man get his limbs blown off.  What you did here ain’t nothing to me.   I’ve gone off the story again, haven’t I?   Dan and I aren’t buddies and he didn’t like me knocking his boy around.    I told him, ‘Dan, he pissed on my girl’s grave; he’s lucky he’s still got his pecker.’  He took a swing at me and I fed him his teeth.  Hurt his pride, but I’m not an unreasonable guy.  Told him to keep his boy off my property or I’d stick a bullet in him.   I figure the matter’s done.  Sonofabitch, cold-cocks me as I’m coming out the bar!  I have one drink on my girl’s birthday.  I made a vow to my wife not to drink except that one and I stick to it.   I keep my promises.

“Anyway, they drag me here and tie me up.  Who knows what they were up to.   Those two couldn’t find a rock in a quarry with a map much less plan a murder.    But, a little thing like you has to be smart.    I’ve seen men do worse than what you’ve done for no reason at all.   I’d like to keep breathing; maybe you’d like some help with the bodies?    That makes me an accomplice.  What would I say?  ‘Why yessir, it was a little skinny girl that killed them.’      We got a mutual  beneficial opportunity here.  You saved my life.  Twice if you count not ending me in this chair.

“Decided?  Alright then.      Name’s Gary.  My buddies used to call me Gat — like the gun.   A boat accident, right?  I’ll do the lifting; don’t you worry.    We’ll hammer out the details of you, me and the missus.   You trust me; I trust you.    Get in the boat, kid.  A shame to spoil the fishin’, but drunken fools die all the time.”

“You talk a lot.”

“I was thinking you might be a mute.  I figure if I keep talking my way out of dying it don’t make sense to stop.”



17 comments on “Yeah Write #5: The Whole Megillah – Fiction #242

  1. Ruby Manchanda
    December 1, 2015

    Interesting work

    Liked by 1 person

  2. innatejames
    December 2, 2015

    I think it says a lot about your character that he chooses to tell his potential savior things he regretted telling his daughter. I’m curious to know if it worked.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laissez Faire
      December 2, 2015

      It does 🙂 I had planned to kill him off, but he said some things that made me change my mind. LOL


  3. c2avilez
    December 3, 2015

    I enjoyed the way you moved the story along through the words of this garrulous character. I was drawn in right away.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laissez Faire
      December 3, 2015

      Garrulous–nice word! 🙂 He was so much FUN to write. I didn’t plan him. he just sort of vomited out of my head one late night. He’s part my grandfather (passed away years ago) and part this rambling song my husband played for me over thanksgiving. The original is almost 2000 words long. LOL Getting it down to 750 words for submission was a real headache. 🙂


      • c2avilez
        December 3, 2015

        Vomited out of your head. Lol! Some characters just ask to be set free on paper, don’t they?

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Jennifer G. Knoblock
    December 3, 2015

    I really enjoyed the voice in this, and how you were able to convey so much story–past, present, physical detail, setting–through pure dialogue.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Laissez Faire
      December 3, 2015

      I’m happy you liked him. I tried to get as much packed into the ramble as possible. I am glad it came across positively. Thanks for the comment!


  5. Amy Bee
    December 3, 2015

    I like the eccentricity of your character.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. become-the-villain
    December 3, 2015

    Fascinating to read. I especially have this line stuck in my head for some reason: “They put all their own wrongs in it and pretend their asses don’t shit.”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Michael
    December 3, 2015

    Some characters are just fun to write, and I could see how this guy is one of them. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laissez Faire
      December 3, 2015

      Yeah, he’s still chattering in my head. I’ll have to do something with him soon 🙂


  8. Pingback: Writing on the Fly #7: What She Is (The Time After) | Laissez Faire

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This entry was posted on November 30, 2015 by in fiction, writing, Yeah Write and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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