Laissez Faire

Letting Life Lead

Yeah Write #18: Tank (#flashfiction)

Hanna Fraser/Photo: Ted Grambeau, Bancroft USA

Hanna Fraser/Photo: Ted Grambeau, Bancroft USA

For ninety-two years, she’d leave the tube tank and enter the twenty-six foot deep observation aquarium.    She swam melancholy circles; show time simulated life; the people cheered.    Saviors opened the outer gates, but the sea called the mermaid’s withered heart no longer.

13 comments on “Yeah Write #18: Tank (#flashfiction)

  1. d3athlily
    January 20, 2016

    Oh… That is so sad. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laissez Faire
      January 20, 2016

      The prompt this week was a tough one and I stared at a blank page for a long time. Maybe that’s why it ended up so sad.

      Liked by 1 person

      • d3athlily
        January 20, 2016

        Oh! I know what you mean! think I wrote 5 different stories before finally settling on mine.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. theinnerzone
    January 20, 2016

    It is indeed sad, but I love the details in this. Great job with the prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Liv
    January 20, 2016

    A mermaid. The perfect subject for this prompt. Melancholy – but well written.


  4. Amy Bee
    January 20, 2016

    Is 92 years a long time for a mermaid? 🙂 I liked, “melancholy circles”. Gave a perfect image.


  5. Jennifer G. Knoblock
    January 21, 2016

    To me, the 92 years is the saddest part–to think that we humans have such an unquenched appetite for misery-as-entertainment. Great work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laissez Faire
      January 21, 2016

      Thank you for taking the time to comment. That much misery is a disturbing thought…it was disturbing to write it!


  6. innatejames
    January 21, 2016

    The saddest part to me is that she was only expected to live for all that time. Very nicely wrought microstory, Tara.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laissez Faire
      January 21, 2016

      Thank you for saying so. I had written a totally different story at first, before I started thinking about the idea of a captive mermaid.


  7. Joe Ormerod
    January 21, 2016

    Poor thing has become institutionalized…like prisoners that can no longer live outside their prison. Very sad…


  8. Christine
    January 21, 2016

    The 92 years got me as well. Of course she would no longer feel the pull of the sea after so much time. Wow.

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on January 19, 2016 by in microstory, writing, Yeah Write and tagged , , , , , , , .

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