Laissez Faire

Letting Life Lead

Yeah Write #84: Forward Unto Tomorrow ( #amwriting #microstory )


Fly west comrades.

Follow horizon’s light away from the inferno’s red eye and choking clouds. Forget the fallen; let go; hold on. One step, two, a league — each stride ever more leaden.

Let sorrow drip as on a tapered candle.

 


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13 comments on “Yeah Write #84: Forward Unto Tomorrow ( #amwriting #microstory )

  1. Cyn K
    December 6, 2017

    I love all the imperative sentences at the start. I especially love that the first three all begin with f words (but not THAT f word).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lisa Shaw
    December 6, 2017

    That last line! ❤

    Like

  3. Asha Rajan
    December 6, 2017

    Oh! This line: “One step, two, a league — each stride ever more leaden.” It’s so visceral.

    Like

  4. unfoldingfromthefog
    December 6, 2017

    I loved “Let sorrow drip as on a tapered candle.”

    Like

  5. Uma Chellappa
    December 7, 2017

    I loved the line “Let sorrow drip as on a tapered candle” too. This was beautiful!

    Like

  6. anusrini20
    December 7, 2017

    Each line is precious. Such a clever use of the prompt.

    Like

  7. iasoupmama
    December 7, 2017

    I like the conflict in the directive to “let go; hold on.”

    Like

  8. innatejames
    December 7, 2017

    Nice simile to end on. I appreciate the commanding tone and the novel approach to the prompt. Not sure about the use of “comrades” because of its connotations. I guess I would need to know more about your intention to see if it worked.

    Like

  9. michellelongo
    December 7, 2017

    I like your use of the prompt here.

    Like

  10. d3athlily
    December 7, 2017

    Whoa, you so nailed the prompt. I read and it wasn’t until the end that I realised I was looking for light one candle. You did that so well!

    Like

  11. Christine
    December 7, 2017

    Lovely, strong imagery here. The rhythm of “Forget the fallen; let go; hold on.” is positively delicious. The last line didn’t do it for me – I was caught trying to figure out what you were dripping on a candle before I got to the image you were trying to convey. I might have written “as _from_ a tapered candle,” maybe, or “as if from a taper.”

    Like

  12. Robin
    December 7, 2017

    I feel like I’m on a sad forced-march to an uncertain fate after reading this piece. Very heavy (and I mean that in a good way. Great atmosphere.)

    Like

  13. Donna-Louise Bishop
    December 11, 2017

    Great take on the prompt. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on December 6, 2017 by in fantasy, fiction, writing, Yeah Write and tagged , , , , , .

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