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Product Review #7: Fisher Price Elmo Super Boom Box (Must Die)

productreviewselmo

No. DO NOT try it. You can’t shut it off!

We don’t have a great many electronic toys, but we do have a few.  My husband and I each have our opinion on which ones are worthwhile, mildly irritating, creepy or annoying.     There is one very special toy, however, that the both of use have at the top of the list of utterly obnoxious:  Fisher Price Elmo’s Super Boom Box.

There are very few products I deeply, viscerally despise.     It is not that it is small and has no educational value.  It’s not even that it plays really short versions of of common children’s songs in questionably irritating voices.   The issue with this stupid piece of useless plastic is that it has no way to turn it off.

Yeah, you heard me right.

I want to tie whomever designed this monstrosity — with no volume control and no off button– to a chair and lock them in a room with a dozen toddlers playing with this horrendous thing. Who in their right mind decided to save five cents by not putting in an off button or a simple volume control!

“We must cut costs!  Melvin, give me ideas man.”

“Well, sir, we already made it smaller and used only  quarter length songs.  All that’s left to cut is the off switch and volume knob, ha, ha!   Wouldn’t that be funny?   That would really drive parents around the bend!”

“Brilliant! Make it happen. ”

This was given to us, and I was never so glad to see a toy die.  I could have taken the batteries out sooner, but since the toy has no other function letting it play out seemed a course of action to deter the children from asking for batteries.  And by play out, I mean outside.       It was a tough little bugger.   It did last longer than expected in the rain, in the dirt, and  in the sandbox. It even resurrected briefly for a few final tunes after I truly thought it was good and dead.    Had it not finally quit on its own I had a back up plan to smash it with a ball pin hammer.

Save your sanity and skip this purchase.  Buy some nice quiet wood toys, or at the very least an electronic toy with a damn off switch and volume control.      If you are some sort of horrible person and want to tick off some friends (or enemies) with kids,  by all means send them this toy.     Don’t be surprised if they come after you in the middle of the night.

If you like my review, you can click the toy image above and “like” it on Amazon and read my other reviews.
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8 comments on “Product Review #7: Fisher Price Elmo Super Boom Box (Must Die)

  1. NYX
    February 19, 2015

    Oh goodness. I can remember those days when my son was a little guy. I absolutely get it. Now the boy has an iPad that he DOES NOT turn the sound down on when he’s watching videos….LOL.

    Like

    • Laissez Faire
      February 19, 2015

      Are headphones out of fashion these days? Don’t these kids want to be in their own private world’s anymore? It’s share share share share all the time. 😀

      Like

      • NYX
        February 19, 2015

        He has them but never wears them. And yes, he’s just sharing his Sonic the Hedgehog love galore… LOL

        Liked by 1 person

  2. reallifemarti
    February 19, 2015

    Once I put a bounty on one of my son’s favorite toys. Dancing Larry the Cucumber who sang “Where is my hairbrush” one time too many.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laissez Faire
      February 19, 2015

      Haha! My husband threatened to kick the monkey ball down the street and run it over if it “woo hoo’d” one more time.

      Like

    • Laissez Faire
      February 19, 2015

      haha! My husband has threatened to kick drop the monkey ball down the street and run it over if it “woo hoos” one more time!

      Like

      • reallifemarti
        February 19, 2015

        Nice! Why is it our little ones prefer the most obnoxious toys and television shows?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Laissez Faire
        February 19, 2015

        Because the people who make them are evil and exploit their love of color and noise. It’s like the geese that will abandon their own eggs for the giant plastic one.

        Like

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Aspiring writer, wife, mother of two, owner two cats. Teacher, lover of science, books, science fiction, fantasy, and video games.

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