Yeah Write #48: Cold ( #flashfiction )
The sky is scarlet
blinding on white ice
casting shadows on the sparrow.
Feathers plume on the sparrow.
The holly, with berries scarlet,
shimmers under ice.
Warmth compels the ice
to drip upon the sparrow,
and the sun beams scarlet.
8 comments on “Yeah Write #48: Cold ( #flashfiction )”
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Aspiring writer, wife, mother of two, owner two cats. Teacher, lover of science, books, science fiction, fantasy, and video games.
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Laissez Faire 
Gorgeous poem! The imagery is beautiful 🙂
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I loved the imagery of the first stanza, especially. Thanks for sharing 🙂
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Thanks 🙂 it is freezing here so a fitting subject. 🙂
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Lovely job! It feels almost like three interconnected haikus. I know the tritina form is new to you, so I thought I’d mention that there ought to be a single, concluding line that includes the three words in order 1, 2, 3. If you want to learn more, check out Rowan’s tritina tutorial: http://yeahwrite.me/writing-help-tritina/
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Dang, I totally missed that in my haste. I’ll add one more line when voting is done to finish it. Thanks for the heads up.
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Lovely imagery!
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Thanks for taking time to comment
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Keeping the length of your lines similar really helps the reader focus on the transition of imagery in the poem, from cold to warm – the whole thing reads like three drops of water falling from an icicle.
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