Laissez Faire

Letting Life Lead

Musings #12: Ten Things No One Tells You About Becoming a Mother

Top Ten1.  You will pick your baby’s nose, ears, and scalp.

2.  You will drop crumbs and sauce on your baby’s head as you hold them and eat, and not brush it off until you are finished.

3.  You will put your nose to your baby’s butt and sniff to be sure you cleaned well enough.

4.  If you bend over your breasts will leak.

5.  You will reflexively hold out your hand to catch spit up.

6.  Your careful, gentle cradling of the baby will one day soon turn into an under-the-arm football hold.

7.  You will suddenly forget you haven’t slept more than three hour stretches in months when the baby has learned a new trick– like giggling–and shows it to you the moment you are convinced you will lose your mind.

8.  You will realize that clothes are a waste of time and, if it weren’t for indecency laws, you’d both be naked at all times.

9.  You discover that you need an 8 gig memory card for your camera because you fill the one it came with in an hour.

10.  You spend more time analyzing output — shape, color, and consistency– than you care to admit.

7 comments on “Musings #12: Ten Things No One Tells You About Becoming a Mother

  1. Tokoni O. Uti
    March 7, 2015

    Whoa. Motherhood is a touch job.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lynn k scott
    March 7, 2015

    These are so true. I’d like to add, you no longer have modesty after giving birth. If the baby spits up on you, you just brush it away. You inadvertently tell your customers “night-night” as they leave (yes, I’ve done this lol).


  3. Daleen
    March 7, 2015

    All so very true!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Introspective Turtle
    April 1, 2015

    Haha, I love this! So true!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on March 7, 2015 by in humor, kids, musings, parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .

Email Subscribe and Support

Subscribe to Tara Writes at Become a Patron
pinterest-button Follow LaissezFaireLife on Twitter google feedburner
Follow Laissez Faire on

Get blog updates by Worpdress via email, or choose Mailchimp.

Join 1,548 other subscribers

Shop With Me!

My Reviews

Shop and Read My Reviews

Aspiring writer, wife, mother of two, owner two cats. Teacher, lover of science, books, science fiction, fantasy, and video games.


Visit My Fellowship

Corey Hastings

writing, traveling, and tap dancing around town.

Write Josephine Write

Leave your fear of the dark at the door, suspend your disbelief and come on in...

Kim Witbeck

Writer and procrastinator

Jina S. Bazzar

authors inspirations

The Mad Puppeteer

Warden of Words // Shaper of Stories

Gawky Scribbler

Bewitching Journey of Words to Meaning

Building The Love Shack

This is the story of building a cottage , the people and the place. Its a reminder of hope and love.

Learning to write

Just your average PhD student using the internet to enhance their CV


Pen to paper

%d bloggers like this: