Laissez Faire

Letting Life Lead

Musings #12: Ten Things No One Tells You About Becoming a Mother

Top Ten1.  You will pick your baby’s nose, ears, and scalp.

2.  You will drop crumbs and sauce on your baby’s head as you hold them and eat, and not brush it off until you are finished.

3.  You will put your nose to your baby’s butt and sniff to be sure you cleaned well enough.

4.  If you bend over your breasts will leak.

5.  You will reflexively hold out your hand to catch spit up.

6.  Your careful, gentle cradling of the baby will one day soon turn into an under-the-arm football hold.

7.  You will suddenly forget you haven’t slept more than three hour stretches in months when the baby has learned a new trick– like giggling–and shows it to you the moment you are convinced you will lose your mind.

8.  You will realize that clothes are a waste of time and, if it weren’t for indecency laws, you’d both be naked at all times.

9.  You discover that you need an 8 gig memory card for your camera because you fill the one it came with in an hour.

10.  You spend more time analyzing output — shape, color, and consistency– than you care to admit.

7 comments on “Musings #12: Ten Things No One Tells You About Becoming a Mother

  1. Tokoni O. Uti
    March 7, 2015

    Whoa. Motherhood is a touch job.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lynn k scott
    March 7, 2015

    These are so true. I’d like to add, you no longer have modesty after giving birth. If the baby spits up on you, you just brush it away. You inadvertently tell your customers “night-night” as they leave (yes, I’ve done this lol).


  3. Daleen
    March 7, 2015

    All so very true!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Introspective Turtle
    April 1, 2015

    Haha, I love this! So true!

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on March 7, 2015 by in humor, kids, musings, parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .

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