Diary of an Inconsistent Cook #34: Collard Green Egg Rolls With Homemade Wonton Wrappers

I haven’t cooked collard greens in a long time, and even then I did little more than boil them in a soup or toss them into a salad. I knew if I prepared them in a normal way my young would scoff and balk simply because it was different. I even get indignant and confused looks if I prepare corn in a novel way. Nature’s failsafe against accidental poisonings in our ancestral children can sometimes be a pain.

I also had a craving for Asian food. “Self, can we put collard greens in an eggroll instead of cabbage?” Well, according to the internets, it has been done. My Self says to me, “There haven’t been wonton wrappers in the house since 2008.” I wondered then…could I make the flour and egg ones at home? Weren’t some of them like pasta noodles?

I made wonton wrappers and my kids helped me. This meal was not hard to make but did take time times two children.

2 cups all purpose flour, 1 tsp salt, 1 egg, 1/2 cup of very cold water. Use 1/4 cup of water, then add the remaining water to form a slightly sticky dough. Let dough rest for thirty minutes. Roll out to just translucent. I found rolling by hand difficult and tedious so I used my pasta crank.

While the pasta was resting and before it was rolled, I put my daughter to work taking the veins out of the collard leaves. Then I cut them into small, thin ribbons and showed my five year old daughter how to mince an onion. My three year old son got to try a few rocking strokes too.

Use child labor whenever possible

I sauteed the onions with garlic and fresh ginger. I added the collards, soy sauce, rice vinegar, and a touch of sugar. I set it aside to cool while we rolled out the dough. The kids argued the whole time over turns. Le sigh.

I hear a few ohmagawd you gave a five year old a chef knife! Yep. I did. Run for your lives!

Fill, roll, seal, and fry in oil until done. The team is 350F but I just toss in a drop of water and listen for the right sizzle.

Guess which two the kids made.

The kids devoured them! Interesting to note that my son learned the hard way that when mommy says the red stuff on her plate is sriracha not ketchup and it is spicy to heed the warning in the future.